2019 - a year in review and hope for the future
On the eve of a new decade, I sit here reflecting, like so many others. I resisted this space - the reflection and have waited up until the very last moment it seems. The reason I’ve shied away from the cliche reflection that happens at the end of every year this time around is because I feel like I’ve spent the entire year reflecting on so many areas of my life. I am truly ready to move forward and have been for sometime.
2019 has been very, very mentally trying. But, it’s also been one of the most transformative times I’ve ever gone through and for that I am so grateful.
In 2019 I
Walked through the fog of anxiety
Questioned and processed many parts of my past
Held tight to Jesus
Got my sister in law to model for me for fun creative shoots that filled my soul
Went to Camp Well and started ripping down walls I’d build out of self protection and preservation. I was forever changed here.
Took a big chance and turned to friends, who honestly I wanted to trust but didn’t know if I could
Celebrated our 11 year wedding anniversary in Montana
Went easy with my photography business, for the first time in 6 years
Read scriptures and self help books about changing the legacy of family
Made priceless memories with our dear friends from Wisconsin when they visited
Spent time all our free time in Rocky Mountain National Park
Watched movies on the couch with my husband and dogs
Laughed so so hard with my kids
We took our kids to the beach, so they could see the ocean for the first time
Started a new job and had to walk away, at least for now, because sometimes as much as we want something, it isn’t always the right season
Approached people I admire and while I felt shame, I was met with grace
Worked through trauma in therapy and cried about it to my most trusted people (remember those friends? - turns out it was worth the risk)
Went to the mountains some more
Grieved
I picked my business back up and dusted it off, with a new perspective and fresh attitude
Clung to Jesus more
Went back to Camp Well and served
Had my heart awoken to a new mission
In 2020 I have so much hope and such an expectant heart for what God is going to do in so many lives. This year I just want to cling to Jesus, because I want to be available for whatever it is He calls me to, for whatever is in store.
